Revelations of Divine Cheese Scone Vase by Jam Westwood

‘I am sat here, in this quaint country tea shop /garden centre, eating a massive cheese scone, drinking tea by myself. I have no data on my phone and I’m not really sure how to occupy this time, there’s literally nothing to settle my eyes upon purposefully. How did it get to this? How did I do cafes before smartphones? I remember now, there would have been magazines or a notebook. I just have a note taking app on my phone I’ll have to make use of. I’m not enjoying the app tapping at all but at least I’m not staring at a wall feeling like a massive weirdo amongst chatty, middle class, perfectly behaved families who’ve got it all together. Maybe I’ll make something with this outpouring babble. These digital notes may become a fine pot. And should these notes, tapped out on this app, just to stop me feeling like a weirdo in a tea shop, become the stuff of art, then trust that those notes and this pot are of future historical importance. A rare tangible record of what 21st century people did in day to day life – what made them tick (data, cheese scones) and what made them feel awkward (being publicly alone with no discernible purpose). Will they notice and value my spelling error? The British Museum will snap this kind of thing up in a jiffy in say, 1000 years. An artefact, which precisely marks this transitional point into the virtual revolution – when humanity still clung helplessly onto its analogue tea shop experience. Stoneware coil pot, inscribed with the revelations of divine cheese scone, made by some woman in a tea shop. Circa 2022 AD/CE’